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The Islamic sexual morality is fundamentally different from the new sexual morality in a sense that it does not accept the concept of free sex.
The Islamic sexual morality is fundamentally different from that of the Christian Church. This is because of the all-encompassing nature of the Islamic Law. Bertrand Russell says, “Great religious leaders, with the exception of Muhammad and Confucius, if he can be called religious have in general been very indifferent to social and political considerations, and have sought rather to perfect the soul by meditation, discipline and self-denial.”
Yes, Islam has surely not been indifferent to social problems.
Yes, Islam has surely not been indifferent to social problems.
The Islamic sexual morality is also fundamentally different from the new sexual morality in a sense that it does not accept the concept of free sex. Islam aims at teaching its followers not to suppress their sexual urges, rather to fulfil them but in a responsible way.
Islam recognizes the sexual needs of human beings and believes that the natural instincts should be nurtured, not suppressed. Islam says that the biological parts of our body have a purpose; they have not been created uselessly. No text in Islam can be found to equate sex with inherent evil or sin; whatever has been taught by the Qur’an, Prophet Muhammad and his Ahlu’l-bayt points in the opposite direction.
Islam recognizes the sexual needs of human beings and believes that the natural instincts should be nurtured, not suppressed. Islam says that the biological parts of our body have a purpose; they have not been created uselessly. No text in Islam can be found to equate sex with inherent evil or sin; whatever has been taught by the Qur’an, Prophet Muhammad and his Ahlu’l-bayt points in the opposite direction.
What the Qur’an and the authentic sunnah and I emphasize on authentic have said about sex and marriage will now be discussed under the following headings: Islam has very highly recommended marriage as a good deed and not as a lesser of two evils; Islam has very strongly opposed celibacy and monasticism, and Islam believes that marriage is not a hindrance in spiritual wayfaring, on the contrary it helps the wayfarer.
1. Marriage is Highly Recommended
It is important to realize that in Islamic texts the idea of marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it confined to sex for the purpose of procreation. The legal term for marriage is “nikah” which literally means sexual intercourse.
Marriage is a highly recommended deed. Allah says,
“Marry the spouseless among you…if they are poor, God will enrich them of His bounty.” (Qur’an 24:32)
The first word of this verse begins with “ankihu” (Marry!) which is an imperative form of the word nikah. According to the principles of Islamic jurisprudence, any communication in imperative form from God can have two levels of meaning: either it is an obligatory command or a very high recommendation.
And therefore we see that in Islam celibacy is not considered as a virtue. Based on this verse we find the Prophet saying that, “Whoever refrains from marriage because of fear of poverty, he has indeed thought badly of God.” In another verse Allah says:
“… Then marry such women as seem good to you two, three or four. But if you fear that you will not do justice between your wives, then marry only one…” (4:3)
Sex has been openly recommended in the Qur’an,
“When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded.” (2:222)
It is important to realize that in Islamic texts the idea of marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it confined to sex for the purpose of procreation. The legal term for marriage is “nikah” which literally means sexual intercourse.
Marriage is a highly recommended deed. Allah says,
“Marry the spouseless among you…if they are poor, God will enrich them of His bounty.” (Qur’an 24:32)
The first word of this verse begins with “ankihu” (Marry!) which is an imperative form of the word nikah. According to the principles of Islamic jurisprudence, any communication in imperative form from God can have two levels of meaning: either it is an obligatory command or a very high recommendation.
And therefore we see that in Islam celibacy is not considered as a virtue. Based on this verse we find the Prophet saying that, “Whoever refrains from marriage because of fear of poverty, he has indeed thought badly of God.” In another verse Allah says:
“… Then marry such women as seem good to you two, three or four. But if you fear that you will not do justice between your wives, then marry only one…” (4:3)
Sex has been openly recommended in the Qur’an,
“When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded.” (2:222)
The phrase ‘commanded you’ does not refer to any legislative command; that is, it does not mean that as soon as a person’s wife becomes clean from her period, he should immediately have sex with her. It is a creative command and refers to the sexual urge which Allah has placed in our nature. And when the sexual urge is counted as a creative command of God, then who can associate it in any way with sin and evil?!
Marriage and sex are among the signs of God’s power and blessings. The Qur’an says,
“And among His signs is that He has created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may live in tranquillity with them; and He has created love and mercy between you. Verily, in that are signs for those who reflect.” (30:21)
Marriage and sex are among the signs of God’s power and blessings. The Qur’an says,
“And among His signs is that He has created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may live in tranquillity with them; and He has created love and mercy between you. Verily, in that are signs for those who reflect.” (30:21)
From these few verses of the Qur’an, one can easily understand that according to Islam: (a) marriage is a sign of God’s power and blessings; (b) marriage is a highly recommended act of virtue which should not be avoided because of poverty; (c) sexual urge is a creative command of God placed in human nature. After equating sex with Allah’s creative command, there can be no room for equating it with guilt, sin or evil.
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The Prophet and the Imams of Ahlu’l Bayt also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen from the following: The Prophet said, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage.”
The Prophet said, “O you young men! I recommend marriage to you.” Imam ‘Ali said, “Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Prophet.
The Prophet said, ‘Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition. Imam Riza said, “Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and frequently visiting one’s wife.” Ishaq bin ‘Ammar quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq as follows: “Loving women is among the traditions of the prophets.”
The Prophet said, “Prayer has been made the apple of my eyes, and my pleasure is in women.” See with what ease the Prophet moves from prayers to the pleasure of women! The Prophet said, “No Muslim man has gained a benefit after [the religion of] Islam better than a Muslim wife who is a cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her…”
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir quotes the Prophet as follows: “Allah says that, ‘Whenever I intend to gather the good of this world and the hereafter for a Muslim, I give him a heart which is humble [to Me], a tongue which praises [Me], a body which can bear [worldly] affliction and a believing wife who is a cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her and who protects herself and his property when he is absent.” See with what ease Allah has combined His praise with the pleasure a man derives from a faithful wife!
Jamil bin Darraj quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq saying, “Mankind has not enjoyed [anything] in this world and the hereafter more than the desire for women. Allah says, ‘The love of desire of women has been made to seem fair to people.'[3:14] The people of the Paradise do not enjoy anything from it more desirable than sex, neither food nor drink.”
The Prophet and the Imams of Ahlu’l Bayt also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen from the following: The Prophet said, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage.”
The Prophet said, “O you young men! I recommend marriage to you.” Imam ‘Ali said, “Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Prophet.
The Prophet said, ‘Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition. Imam Riza said, “Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and frequently visiting one’s wife.” Ishaq bin ‘Ammar quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq as follows: “Loving women is among the traditions of the prophets.”
The Prophet said, “Prayer has been made the apple of my eyes, and my pleasure is in women.” See with what ease the Prophet moves from prayers to the pleasure of women! The Prophet said, “No Muslim man has gained a benefit after [the religion of] Islam better than a Muslim wife who is a cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her…”
Imam Muhammad al-Baqir quotes the Prophet as follows: “Allah says that, ‘Whenever I intend to gather the good of this world and the hereafter for a Muslim, I give him a heart which is humble [to Me], a tongue which praises [Me], a body which can bear [worldly] affliction and a believing wife who is a cause of his pleasure whenever he looks towards her and who protects herself and his property when he is absent.” See with what ease Allah has combined His praise with the pleasure a man derives from a faithful wife!
Jamil bin Darraj quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq saying, “Mankind has not enjoyed [anything] in this world and the hereafter more than the desire for women. Allah says, ‘The love of desire of women has been made to seem fair to people.'[3:14] The people of the Paradise do not enjoy anything from it more desirable than sex, neither food nor drink.”
2. Celibacy & Monasticism is Forbidden
The Islamic point of view about the worldly good things is not negative; rather it says that we should appreciate them as the blessings of God. And Islam is, therefore, totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. ‘Uthman bin Maz’un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, “O the Messenger of God! ‘Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night.”
In other words, she meant to say that her husband was abstaining from sexual relations during the night as well as the day. The Prophet was so much angered with this that he did not even wait to put on his slippers.
He came out with the slippers in his hands and went to ‘Uthman’s house. The Prophet found him praying. When ‘Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, the latter said, “O ‘Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [shari’ah].
The Islamic point of view about the worldly good things is not negative; rather it says that we should appreciate them as the blessings of God. And Islam is, therefore, totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. ‘Uthman bin Maz’un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, “O the Messenger of God! ‘Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night.”
In other words, she meant to say that her husband was abstaining from sexual relations during the night as well as the day. The Prophet was so much angered with this that he did not even wait to put on his slippers.
He came out with the slippers in his hands and went to ‘Uthman’s house. The Prophet found him praying. When ‘Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, the latter said, “O ‘Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [shari’ah].
I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions. Since ‘Uthman was already married, the word “marriage” in this hadith can only be applied to sexual relations.
In another incident, three women came to the Prophet and complained that their husbands were abstaining from meat, perfume and intimate relations with their wives. The Prophet quickly came to the mosque, went on the pulpit and said, “What has happened to some of my companions that they do not eat meat, they do not use perfume and they do not go to their women?! Whereas I eat meat, use perfume and go to my wives. Therefore whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me.
In another incident, three women came to the Prophet and complained that their husbands were abstaining from meat, perfume and intimate relations with their wives. The Prophet quickly came to the mosque, went on the pulpit and said, “What has happened to some of my companions that they do not eat meat, they do not use perfume and they do not go to their women?! Whereas I eat meat, use perfume and go to my wives. Therefore whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me.
Ibn Abu ‘Umayr quotes that Sikkin an-Nakha’i had devoted himself to prayers and abstinence from women and delicious food. Then he wrote a letter to Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq seeking clarification about his actions. The Imam wrote, “As for what you have said about abstaining from women, you surely know how many women the Prophet had! As for food, the Prophet used to eat meat and honey.” The Imam is obviously condemning the holier-than-thou attitude of his companion.
Imam ‘Ali narrates that some companions of the Prophet had vowed to abstain from sexual relations with their wives, from eating during the day and from sleeping during the night. Umm Salamah, the Prophet’ s wife, informed him about this group. The Prophet went out to his companions and said, “Do you abstain from women whereas I go to the women?! I eat during the day and sleep during the night! Whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me.” After this speech, Allah revealed the following verse:
O you who believe! Do not forbid [for yourselves] the good things which Allah has permitted you; and do not exceed [the law] Allah does not like those who exceed [the law]. Therefore eat of the lawful and good things that Allah has provided you, and fear Allah in whom you believe. (5:87-8)
Imam ‘Ali narrates that some companions of the Prophet had vowed to abstain from sexual relations with their wives, from eating during the day and from sleeping during the night. Umm Salamah, the Prophet’ s wife, informed him about this group. The Prophet went out to his companions and said, “Do you abstain from women whereas I go to the women?! I eat during the day and sleep during the night! Whosoever dislikes my tradition, then he is not from me.” After this speech, Allah revealed the following verse:
O you who believe! Do not forbid [for yourselves] the good things which Allah has permitted you; and do not exceed [the law] Allah does not like those who exceed [the law]. Therefore eat of the lawful and good things that Allah has provided you, and fear Allah in whom you believe. (5:87-8)
Read this verse carefully and see that firstly, it counts sex, food and sleep among “the lawful and good things which Allah has permitted you;” and secondly celibacy and abstinence is considered as “exceeding the law of God.”
After this verse was revealed, those companions came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of God! We have taken oath to abstain from those things.” That is, how can we now break our oath of abstinence? Then Allah revealed the following verse:
“Allah will not call you [to account] for vain oaths…” (5:84)
Again, note that an oath of celibacy or abstinence from the good and lawful things is considered by Islam as ‘vain oaths!’
The discouraging of celibacy is not confined to men, even women have been discouraged from remaining single. Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq said, “The Prophet has forbidden the women to become ascetic and to prevent themselves from husbands.”
After this verse was revealed, those companions came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of God! We have taken oath to abstain from those things.” That is, how can we now break our oath of abstinence? Then Allah revealed the following verse:
“Allah will not call you [to account] for vain oaths…” (5:84)
Again, note that an oath of celibacy or abstinence from the good and lawful things is considered by Islam as ‘vain oaths!’
The discouraging of celibacy is not confined to men, even women have been discouraged from remaining single. Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq said, “The Prophet has forbidden the women to become ascetic and to prevent themselves from husbands.”
‘Abdus Samad bin Bashir quotes that a woman came to Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq and said, “May God bless you; I am an ascetic woman.”
The Imam: “What does asceticism mean to you?”
The woman: “It means that I will never marry.”
The Imam: “Why?”
The woman: “By practicing asceticism, I want to acquire favor (of God).”
The Imam: “Go away! If asceticism was a means of acquiring favor (of God), then Fatimah would have been more entitled to it than you because none can gain more favor [in the eyes of Allah] than her.”
The Imam: “What does asceticism mean to you?”
The woman: “It means that I will never marry.”
The Imam: “Why?”
The woman: “By practicing asceticism, I want to acquire favor (of God).”
The Imam: “Go away! If asceticism was a means of acquiring favor (of God), then Fatimah would have been more entitled to it than you because none can gain more favor [in the eyes of Allah] than her.”
A similar incident is also narrated in relation to Imam Riza.
The Prophet said, “The most low [in status] among your dead are the singles.”
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq says that a person came to my father. My father asked him, “Do you have a wife?” He said, “No. “My father said, “I would not prefer to have the world with all its riches while I sleep at night without a wife.”
The Prophet said, “The most low [in status] among your dead are the singles.”
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq says that a person came to my father. My father asked him, “Do you have a wife?” He said, “No. “My father said, “I would not prefer to have the world with all its riches while I sleep at night without a wife.”
3. Marriage Helps in Spirituality
In Islam, contrary to Christianity, marriage and sex are not antipathetic to the love for and worship of God. Instead of an obstacle, marriage is regarded as an asset in acquiring spiritual perfection.
The Prophet said, “One who marries has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” A person who can fulfill his sexual urges lawfully is less distracted in the spiritual journey. Love for women and faith are inter-related.
In one hadith, ‘Umar bin Zayd quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq that, “I do not think that a person’s faith can increase positively unless his love for women has increased.” The same Imam said, “Whenever a person’s love for women increases, his faith increases in quality.” He also said, “Whosoever’s love for us increases, his love for women must also increase.”
Marriage even elevates the value of prayers. The Prophet said, “Two rak ‘ats (cycles) prayed by a married person is better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person.” Ibn Fuzzal quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq saying that, “Two rak’ats prayed by a married person is better than seventy rak’ats prayed by a single person.”
The Prophet said, “If anyone likes to meet Allah in purity, then he should meet Him with a wife.”
In Islam, contrary to Christianity, marriage and sex are not antipathetic to the love for and worship of God. Instead of an obstacle, marriage is regarded as an asset in acquiring spiritual perfection.
The Prophet said, “One who marries has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” A person who can fulfill his sexual urges lawfully is less distracted in the spiritual journey. Love for women and faith are inter-related.
In one hadith, ‘Umar bin Zayd quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq that, “I do not think that a person’s faith can increase positively unless his love for women has increased.” The same Imam said, “Whenever a person’s love for women increases, his faith increases in quality.” He also said, “Whosoever’s love for us increases, his love for women must also increase.”
Marriage even elevates the value of prayers. The Prophet said, “Two rak ‘ats (cycles) prayed by a married person is better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person.” Ibn Fuzzal quotes Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq saying that, “Two rak’ats prayed by a married person is better than seventy rak’ats prayed by a single person.”
The Prophet said, “If anyone likes to meet Allah in purity, then he should meet Him with a wife.”
A woman came to the Prophet’s house and her strong perfume soon filled the house. When the Prophet inquired about the visitor, the woman said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her.
The Prophet told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse which he described as follows: “When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah’s views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fell like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins.
The Prophet told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse which he described as follows: “When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah’s views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fell like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins.
The selection taken from “Marriage and Moral in Islam” by Sayyed Muhammad Rizvi.
