Marriage can cause strengthening man and woman, resulting in their elevation; spiritually and specially, helping them to experience real calmness and equilibrium.
It also can spread modesty, spiritual health and responsibility in society. In modernity, noting the overcoming of machinery on our life, the vital need of facilitating marriage among youth should be met.
Hazrat Zahra’s marriage style is the best guide to be learnt to facilitate marriage. In this article, Fatimah Zahra’s marriage style has been studied.
The need of social life and starting a family is an inborn need. The religious teachings, including the verses of holy Quran, draw our attention to the fundamental principle of marriage which is a sign of God, helping men and women to get to peace and fulfillment. On the other hand, getting to salvation is one of the significant concerns of people today: standing on the summit of success, finding a good support in times of crises and passing through them safety. These concerns are not specific to a special time or place. Therefore, if a school of thought or religious can provide answers to these concerns, it can be an all-time true and accountable thought school. According to Islamic belief, Islam sufficiently could meet these needs as its anthropological issues are related to heavenly messages of God and the one whom Creates mankind is guiding him as well and in this way He can offer mankind practical solutions to lead him to prosperity and salvation. These guide lines and ways fortunately found realization which proves their possibility and practicality.
One of the most shining figures morality- wise is Fatimah al-Zahra, the daughter of the holy Prophet. Her short but perfect time of her life demands hours of studying and researching. Her perfect life, which its results and impacts would last forever, invites wisdom and conscious of people to itself. She is one of the rare individual who can understand Islam and accepted it when the darkness of ignorance supersedes everywhere. And it is natural for one who was brought up in the home of prophethood, her matter is the first Muslim lady who spent whatever she had for the sake of Islam. She is a role model for all and paying attention to her life style can open the true ways of happiness and perfection for us.
Talking about Fatimah is talking about one who played difficult roles in her short life time, and each role give us a great amount of lessons. She did not belong to her family only; in fact she belongs to all eras and all places.
Talking about Fatimah, in the time of variety in ideas and opinions, is a chance to have a perfect role model in front. The present article aims at picturing some scenes of her life to help youth find the best ways.
The influential elements in strengthening the foundation of a family and her moral and behavioral teachings in marriage
If in a marriage the satisfaction of God is not considered, this marriage will not be based upon a strong foundation and it cannot be acceptable. The more lighted by God’s light, the more happiness for that family. This light will illuminate all scenes of the couple’s life.
Fatimah al-Zahra’s preparation for marriage was according to God’s satisfaction. She ignored everything but God’s satisfaction and said, “O God! I ask you whatever you like and are satisfied with. (Sheikhul Islam, 1377, p. 227).
The first and foremost in a happy marriage, the satisfaction of both parents should be regarded, If a partner is unhappy, the outcome of this dissatisfaction will endanger their marital life and no peace or love will be formed between them.
Hazrat Zahra revealed her satisfaction from her marriage to Imam Ali in this way, “I am satisfied to whatever God and the holy Prophet are satisfied with. (Dashti, 1375, p. 29).
On the other side, the second element in a marriage is the satisfaction of both familiar; in case of their dissatisfaction, their marriage will grow toward unhappiness.
Hazrat Zahra’s marriage enjoys a firm support. The holy prophet in all aspects of his life, as an experienced and wise support, was present to help them, guide them and solve their problems.
The other significant element is paying attention to religious values and criteria. Considering the real values will guarantee material life and noting rudimentary values like marriage portion, dowry, ….. Will cause problems and depression.
The dowry of Hazrat Zahra was only 17 things. When she was blamed you marry a poor man she said, “I am satisfied with Ali and my satisfaction from him is of the highest one. (Majlisi, 1404, vol. 43, p. 97).
When Ali was blamed you can marry a girl of a richer family to fill your home with her dowry, he said, “We are a group who are satisfied with God’s determination and we want nothing but His satisfaction. Our honor is “our good deeds” not “wealth”. (Bahrani, vol. 11, p. 363).
Hazrat Zahra entered Ali’s home saying “God is great” and on the way she donated her wedding gown to a poor man.” (Mazaheri, 1372, p. 66- 67).
Having positive attitude toward each other is one of the other basic elements concerning marriage. Such an attitude can fade shortcomings of the spouse, sending these weak points to marriage. The holy Prophet at the beginning of Ali and Fatimah’s marriage asked their ideas about the other. Ali said, “What a good helper she is in the way of serving God.” and Fatimah said, “Ali is the best husband.”
One of the other important reasons is to trust and wish for the stability of their marriage. They should believe they will not separate from each other and should live their life together; the reason behind this is a psychological one; as the fear of separation will estrange them together.
Hazrat Zahra said to Ali in the very first day of her marriage, “Oh Ali! Today I am taken from my father’s home to your home and one day I will be taken to my grave from this house.” (Dashti, 1375, p. 35). It means except death nothing else is powerful to harm their marital life.
One of the significant elements in successful marriages is to be proper religiously, psychologically, socially and intellectually for each other. In this way they can understand each other better. Regarding marriage these should be as much similarity as possible between men and women.
Omme Salme narrated from holy prophet who said, “If God did not create Ali, No one was at the same level (and suitable) foe Fatimah.” (Ghandazi, 1380, p. 237).
The other element is to know each other well. This element can bring calmness and peace to the life. This recognition even can bring and create love and affection.
Fatimah knew Ali well, assuring of his love to herself. In her death bed even she tried to give the news of her death calmly not to hurt Ali. She asked for Imam Ali’s presence at her bed and said, “Oh the son of my uncle! Regards to you, for sure this is Gabriel who is saluting men. Then after some hesitation she said, “This is Michael who is saluting me like his friend Gabriel.”
Then she continued, “For sure, this is Israel whose wings are spread over west and east and my father described him for me like this.” (Sepehr, 1382. P. 183).
Humbleness towards spouse is another fundamental elements which can satisfy a man in his life to the great extent. Imam Sadiq said, “3 things will cause love and affection: to be good-tempered, to be tolerant and to be humble.” (Majlisi, 1414, vol. 2 p. 205).
Hazrat Zahra though she is the greatest of all the world was treating her husband so humbly. For example, when He was asking Fatemah to let Caliph come to see her, she answered, “Dear Ali! This house is your house and I’m your servant.” (Babazade, 1376 p. 255).
The other influencing element is to show your love to your spouse. Exchanging love words is of the requirements of a successful marriage. The holy prophet said, “the word of I love you of a husband will never be erased from his wife’s heart.” (Horre Amedi, 1376 vol. 20 p. 23) or Hazrat Zahra told her husband, my soul (and life) be scarified for you and my life be the shield of your life.” ( Ha’eri Mazandarani, 1374 vol. 1 p. 196).
To look tidy and smart inclination to beauty and cleanness is innate; to wear a smile on a face or a kind looking is also a way of beautifying yourself. Inside satisfaction and calmness can illuminate one’s face. Hazrat Zahra tried to wear perfume at home. Even in her death bed and at the very last minute of her life she told Asma,” take that perfume I always used to wear it.” (Arbali, 1381 vol. 2 p. 62).
Ali (as) also noting Fatemah’s soul and body beauty said, “whenever I looked at her, all my sorrows and sadness were gone.” (Majlisi, 1404 vol. 43 p. 134).
Deepening Love, Supporting Spouse and Appreciating his/her Efforts.
When Ali was taken out of Medina Mosque for forcefully allegiance while he was reluctant, Hazrat Zahra to support her husband stood by the door of mosque and said, “I swear God, Oh Salman! I will not exit until I saw the son of my uncle safe and sound.” (Sheikh Mofid, 1374, p.181)
Calling Your Spouse Respectfully
This will cause love and intimacy. Calling others in a polite way will connect people more, creating positive attitude in others. This action will leave a deep impact on emotional relations of spouses which couples need it very much. Zahra (s.a) called her husband “Abalhasan” , “Ibne Amm” or “Amirul Momenin”, or “Ibne Abi Talib” (Majlisi, 1404 vol. 8 p. 125).
Encouraging each other in doing good deeds. Zahra(s.a) was so compatible regarding benevolent activities that Ali said after his death, I lost my second principal.” (Majlisi, 1404 vol. 43 p. 173)
In the light of Hijab, the valuable character of a woman will he preserved, paving the way of their growth in different aspects. Hijab will cause security and peace in life. Foe example once a blind man asked to enter Zahra’s house: she covered herself. The holy prophet said, why did you cover?” Fatimah said, “He does not see me, but I see him and also he can smell.” (Majlisi, 1404 vol. 43 p. 91)
Helping Each Other in Running Home
In the life of Ali and Zahra, the inside duties of home or home management was on Zahra and outside duties or tasks were for Ali. Imam Baqir said, “Zahra (s.a) classified house chores like this: “preparing, baking bread and sweeping home for Fatimah and gathering wood sticks for fire and preparing food ingrediance for Ali.” (Dashti, 1375 p. 168)
To Be Patient
Once the holy Prophet entered his daughter’s house. He saw Zahra preparing and breaking bread by one hand and feeling her kid by others. The holy prophet tearfully said, “My daughter! These hardships of the world are to reach blessings of the other world. So do not lose your patience.” Zahra replied, “I praise God for His blessings and appreciate for His blessings.” (Ibn Shahr Ashob, 1379 vol. 3 p. 343)
To Be Simple
Those individuals who are craving for luxuries and relief only, will not reach the high ranks of real happiness and prosperity. Salman Farsi said, “Once I saw Hazrat Zahra wearing a simple cover on her head. I said wonderfully, wow!
Kings’ daughters sit on gold chairs, wearing valuable clothes but the daughter of the holy prophet has no such a gold chair or such a nice clothes. She answered, “Oh Salman! The golden chairs and valuable clothes are saved for us for the day of doom.” (Majlisi, 1404 vol. 8 p. 303)
Islam recognizes family s the base of peace and happiness. A profound look at the life style of an infallible can help us to find a good role model. Among all infallibles, Hazrat Zahra is a very good role model whose great personality is not negligible.
This article was written by Anita Homayoon Fard Seyyed Mahdi Sajjadi.